Food Funny Bone Gifts

'Don't worry - it's made entirely from soya-based meat substitute.'

". . . Artificial flavoring, synthesized fruit, imitation chocolate bits, and the box is simulated cardboard."

'Take some of that home, Richard. Don't be a hero.'

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

An early space launch attempt.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Dog at a restaurant

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.