Cosmic Funny Bone Gifts

'I've got a shared room? What kind of hole is this?'

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Eucharist

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

Dog at a restaurant

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''