Cosmic Funny Bone Pillows

'I've got a shared room? What kind of hole is this?'

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Eucharist

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!