Digital Funny Bone Pillows

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

You thought YOU hated YOUR job?

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Fish in Water Cooler.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

tax

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."

We have boorish stocks for boorish times.

"If at first you don't succeed, give up skydiving."

"Get names!"