Healthcare Funny Bone Pillows

'I don't need informed consent to take your temperature.'

You have a low grade fever.

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.