Serious Funny Bone Pillows

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

An early space launch attempt.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Eucharist

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'