Field Funny Bone Pillows

"You planted only beans and corn last year, right Herman...?"

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Fish in Water Cooler.

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Eucharist

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

tax