Farm Funny Bone Pillows

Wormio! Wormio! Where for art thou Wormio?

"I just hope he's been through the sterilising stuff."

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Snowprov

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'God does not call the qualified. He koala-fies the called.'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Fish in Water Cooler.

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

Eucharist

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'