Retail Funny Bone Pillows

Tire Store. Blowout Sale!

Snowprov

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Fish in Water Cooler.

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

'Bugger it, we're out of beer!'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Movers and shakers.

'It's going to be hard to get lost in these woods!'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

tax

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'