Corporate Funny Bone Pillows

Fish in Water Cooler.

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Eucharist

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Movers and shakers.

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."