Broken Bone Humor Pillows

Extreme Sports Injuries Dept.

Skeleton playing fetch.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Movers and shakers.

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

Dog at a restaurant

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.