Funny Bones Pillows

"Get names!"

'She's not 'pushing 40' - she's 'dragging' it!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"Well, the usual salary for a new staff member is one rat every two to three weeks, Mr. Shoodick."

Snowprov

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

An early space launch attempt.

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Fetch the Boomerang

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

Movers and shakers.

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

Dog at a restaurant

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'