Farming Funny Bone Gifts

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

Snowprov

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

Vocation,vocation,vocation.

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

Eucharist

Fish in Water Cooler.

Movers and shakers.

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'I just glanced back at Sodom and Gomorrah for a second...'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."