Financial Funny Bone Gifts

'In tonight's debate, Ms. Johnson will argue the merits of accrual-based accounting, while Mr. Wilcox will defend the 'Don't Be Accrual' method!'

'You can't sit like that all the way through the Budget.'

'This doesn't look good.'

"Then it's settled -- our strategy is to hope for better things."

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"They are definitely a 'glass half full' kind of outfit."

"Your complete name is Paul Anton Norman Ichabot Cucumber?? P-A-N-I-C???! I'm sorry, you can't work as a stock market analyst any longer!"

"I see you've invested wildly in Asian stocks...like a bull in a China shop."

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

Dog Beginning For A Loan

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Entertaining The Troops On Wall Street

"I just wish that, for once, when he asked me what I wanted, it wasn't followed by 'for Christmas?'"

Fish in Water Cooler.

Movers and shakers.

That's the worst case of 'cow arse' I've seen in a child!

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"Do I have to declare this as income to the IRS?"

tax

"I can hear Jingle Bells!"

"Okay, what if we go outside - will it still be insider trading then?"

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.