Funny Bone Friend Gifts

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

A Club Sandwitch.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

Movers and shakers.

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Dog at a restaurant

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."