Funny Bone Friend Gifts

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Dog at a restaurant