Funny Bone Charmer Gifts

'Now, how would you like to come up to my place...'

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

Evolution Interrupted By Man Fishing

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

Punkins

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Runs-With-Scissors Boy - Part One

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

"Well yes, pretty and kind were big factors, but her nitpicking abilities are what really won me over..."

Movers and shakers.

'You are what you eat.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

"There's no point trying to complain, everyone is on a 'customer care' course."

"Wise?! You believe you're wise!!"