Funny Bone Detective Gifts

"So there you were, trapped in a no-future job."

Skeleton playing fetch.

"So...what are you doing after you graduate?"

What do you mean, "Did I try anything funny?"

'I'm looking fo someone who can make me laugh.'

'Reflexes seem normal. You kept him waiting over two hours.'

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

An early space launch attempt.

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'The program is stupid, primitive, embarrassing, and boring. I want to buy a new telly.'

Stand-up comic/ceo: 'A funny thing happened on the way to the board meeting...'

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

Punkins

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"You want to be a comedian? You can't be serious!"

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

'Turns out medicine is the best medicine.'

Fetch the Boomerang

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

"Well yes, pretty and kind were big factors, but her nitpicking abilities are what really won me over..."

He. 'How would you like to own a--er--a little puppy?' She. 'Oh, Mr. Softly, this is so sudden!'

'Will you marry me if I can get funding?'

'Hi....I'm on my driving test....'

"Our forensic scientist quit, so our computer guy has stepped in for now."

Movers and shakers.

'You are what you eat.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'