Chemistry Funny Bone Gifts

"Enough helium makes laughing gas."

A Club Sandwitch.

'How could you flunk stone shop?'

An early space launch attempt.

"So when my dad said I couldn't have a dog..."

"Dear, did something happen at the office?"

"Hurry, stop him!" (Dog running off with bone from man's x-ray).

'I did my research paper on Bart Simpson!'

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

"I'm the Class Clown fish."

Excess Baggage: Some folks believe that calories consumed during vacation do not count against your diet.

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'And then as the young rat turned around, he realized he was in the junior high, block one dissection class!'

'Is it okay to apologize for something I'm going to do?'

Cut out and keep your own Gardener!

"No. I wouldn't 'like to see the cheese menu'. And I don't appreciate the stereotyping!"

"How do you prepare the chicken?"

'Ha, ha! But seriously folks...'

"Hiya, hiya, hiya, guy. I'm the bluebird of Prozac."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

Sigh. They never ask me to play.

Movers and shakers.

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"Care to support the caterers courtesy campaign?" "Do you mind I'm trying to eat!"

'No, there isn't any shrimp in the 'Shrimp Surprise' -- It's just called that because it's not all that surprising.'

'I'm afraid it's mad cow disease.'

Menu. Everything looks so delicious! Thank you!

'Hand me that gizmo, will you please?'

Dog at a restaurant

"Something that makes me look unfit for human consumption."

"No Eric, you're NOT funny haha. . . you're funny peculiar. . !"

Dave soon realised it was going to be a tough gig.

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

Policeman to driver; 'You gotta be kidding. Your name is actually Anna Nicole Smith?'

"Sadly, we're seeing more and more of this as we encroach on their natural habitat."