Frequent Business Travel Gifts

"Hell: The Airport"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

The World's Easiest Airport

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Airport

"Expense account or regular?"

'Hanson - committee of four.'

Technological Dependence.

Man on beach blowing up an inflatable office.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'He must be going economy!'

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

Airport Bored Rooms

"Don't worry. If we're too late, we can always catch the secondary screening."

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'Business or pleasure?'

Business-Class.

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

A businessman waits for an elevator; on his briefcase are two stickers reading "Up" and "Down".

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

Airline Mergers.

US Airlines

Business man with places he's visited on his suitcase and places he's worked for on his chair.

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."