Business Traveler Gifts

Frequent Flyer Class (excused safety demo)

Airline Mergers.

"Would you like fuming or non-fuming?"

Excess Baggage: Anyone who thinks business travel is glamorous should have a talk with a business traveler.

'Oh, it's been a terrible trip. Luckily I have two hours to take my aggression out on the rental car.'

Businessman on Holiday

'Yeah, yeah, hail Caesar ... listen, I got a meeting on the Third Hill at nine. what are my coffee options?'

'You're office has a question about travel reimbursements.'

'If it's jet lag when I fly east, why isn't it jet lead when I fly west?'

"I'm on the train!"

"LaGauardia, and hurry - I've got a flight in six hours."

'Hi, I'm Joe Smith, but my friends call me, Simba! Lord of the Jungle!'

Compliments of the House.

'Hopefully these sessions will help you to adjust to flying economy.'

"The speed of travel these days is fantastic. I can get from London to Heathrow in under two hours."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Seasoned Traveler

Toilet door. Table for one!

"So you'll be back when the silver moon meets the Eagle mountain...do you mean next Saturday?"

Business traveller dreaming of home.

'You're all set, Mr. Gelt

'I'll be back Friday - don't try anything funny while I'm away.'

"Look, on the positive side we're flying with an e.u. airline."

Man looking at arrival and departures board sees faces of Elton John and Geri Halliwell

Swiss Army Briefcase.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

Excess Baggage: These days airport frequent flyer lounges are even more crowded than the general boarding areas.

'No way I'm buying a first class ticket just to get a club soda!'

"As part of our effort to raise our on-time performance, your flight left half an hour early."

Excess Baggage: If airlines are so concerned about on-time performance that they won't hold your connecting flight for 5 minutes, then why do they never arrive on schedule?

"Can't you holler any louder than that? That's not a very effective wake-up call."

Munchkin Reunion

"Bingo. I found a vacation rental with two home offices."

"Who knew we could take our Frequent Flyer miles with us?"

"First, though, we'll be boarding all our bald business travellers who've been asking a ton of interesting questions for the past forty-five minutes."