Business Trip Gifts

'On behalf of Charter airlines may I apologise again for the delay while the plane is being built.'

'I'm a just-in-time imports/exports executive - I should've gone home Tuesday week!'

"Our maintenance crew is fixing a problem that should only take a few minutes but which will haunt you for the duration of the flight."

'Cheryl, not so loud please. Everyone's paying attention!'

The room you gave me was so small every time I bent over I rearranged the furniture.

'Please put your tray table and seat in their upright and locked position... ooh! Didn't say Simon Sez.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

'Would yo like reading or non-reading?'

Luggage checks.

'He must be going economy!'

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

"Our flight's been diverted to Frankfurt - but remember, it is better to travel than to arrive."

"You're advised to check a small bag which you wouldn't mind losing as a sacrifice to the Gods of Lost Luggage."

'That's for what you are going to get up to on your next business trip!'

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

The World's Easiest Airport

Woman in airport with cell phone standing in front of No Outlet sign.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

'We found your luggage mr. Hart. Or I should say, our sniffer dog did!'

"Expense account or regular?"

"Excuse me... I think you're in my seat."

"Uh-oh....I fear that somehow the airline missorted me..."

"Yes, I'm usually sat next to some jabbering idiot for eight hours!"

Technological Dependence.

Airport Bored Rooms

"If you do get downgraded from First Class, we can help you adjust with lots of free valium."

Airport traffic

"Sorry, you'll have to put your trunk through the security baggage screener."

"Business trip, eh? Gee, that's too bad."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

"Sir, cart's coming through. Please tuck in your legs!"

Munchkin Reunion

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'