Business Trips Gifts

'Did you make any decisions at the conference in Hawaii?' - 'Yes, we decided to have the next conference in Hawaii.'

'You're office has a question about travel reimbursements.'

Airport

"I never watch the safety demo. If we crash, they'll just save me."

"... Yes, I've heard the expression; 'Pigs might fly'. But, never; 'Pigs might fly in business class'!"

'Your weight is 297 and you will soon be charged an extra airline fee...'

Free WiFi

"So how are things back in economy?"

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

Networking

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

The World's Easiest Airport

"This bag is carry-on, and this one is kick-drop-throw-and-pile-on."

"I'm afraid there'll be an excess baggage charge on your Filofax."

"I love these off-site business meetings."

'You're off the plane, Hal. Put the laptop on your desk.'

"You shouldn't have stopped to go to the bathroom, sir - you were late claiming your luggage, so we raffled it off."

'I feel like my ears are about to pop.'

'Hanson - committee of four.'

Technological Dependence.

"Expense account or regular?"

"Now boarding group 50 and up."

Man on beach blowing up an inflatable office.

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'He must be going economy!'

'When you said I would go places with the firm , sir, I was rather hoping for more than the annual outings...'

Airport Bored Rooms

Gates A-B Taking Care of Business, C-D Funny Business, E-F Do Your Business.

"We are now boarding priority travellers. Please be ready to present an air of entitlement."

Airport Security. Remove Shoes. What do they call the guy in charge of all this airport security? "The TSAR"!

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

"Hell: The Airport"

Business-Class.