Fragrance Testing Gifts

'I find wealth impresses the Ladies. Try this it smells of Petrol.'

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"It's our latest scent...Dryer Sheet."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Does this perfume have an antidote?'

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Aromatherapy for Men

"The antidote is $150."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

"It's not expensive, sir, when you consider it's long smell-by date!"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

The day wasps discovered there's something about an Aqua Velva Man.

Coffee Menu

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

Avocado Timeline

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

''Spiced mill cider and home made apple pie.' Am I supposed to freshen the room with this or have it for dessert?'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Sure I said I love 'new car smell', but not as an aftershave.'