Taste Testing Gifts

'This is where we bring people we're thinking of hiring as decision makers.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

You call this "berry-flavored"? Children's FDA.

"I'm inviting you all to taste test a new, cheaper blend of coffee."

Harsh Mellows.

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Dijon Vu

"This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing: it's salty."

"It's half price because we ran out of lemons and used crushed onions."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Cheese

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"Your meal sounded nice."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Cereal Tasting.

'Whatever he's eating.'

Coffee Menu

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"More?"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff