Taste Testing T-Shirts

'This is where we bring people we're thinking of hiring as decision makers.'

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

'Which' Consumer Testing Whiskies

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"I'm inviting you all to taste test a new, cheaper blend of coffee."

Harsh Mellows.

'Your trouble is that you don't appreciate good food.'

Dijon Vu

"This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing: it's salty."

"It's half price because we ran out of lemons and used crushed onions."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Bad for you but to die for

'Eight years old, huh? If it's so good, why didn't somebody drink it eight years ago?'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

A shop selling "Ice-cold Vodka" in 31 flavors.

Cheese

"The soup of the day is pineapple with a hint of rum."

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Your meal sounded nice."

Fly Tastings: 'Notice that hint of dog fur and then let that full bodied garbage finish unfold.'

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

Cereal Tasting.

Coffee Menu

'Whatever he's eating.'

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Big Burgers.

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'