Perfume Tester Gifts

Rick sure knew how to compliment a lady.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Harsh Mellows.

"Is Pinot Noir where you want to be?"

"Now, in contrast to the last olive oil you tasted, this one is infused with sixty-five more dollars."

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

Wine Tasting and Wine Guzzling

"Finally a perfume store my husband will enjoy visiting."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

Avocado Timeline

Rust test in progress.

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

Product Testing Department

"It's less of a spell than it is a signature scent."

'I'd recommend the white wine.'

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'...or, if you're watching your cholesterol, we also have thousand-year-old egg substitutes.'

'Here ya' go, sweetie. Our Key Lime Pie.'

Big Burgers.

"Yo! You check the pH lately? I have sensitive eyes, ya know."

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

"Gesundheit."

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Women cook to feed the soul...men cook to feed the ego.'

"Do you know our soup is world renowned?"

'This sugar substitute is perfect except for one thing. It's salty.'

"Robust, full-bodied bouquet with just a hint of bitter, mean-spirited despair."

No one liked working the red-eye shift.

It's not a tongue depressor, it's a used popsicle stick. If you can name the flavor, your taste buds pass the test.

"Does she like to smell strange?"

Online articles are fine, but I miss being annoyed by the fragrance sample cards in print magazines.

"Are you looking for 'drinks and nibbles' beer, 'I don't really drink beer' beer, or good old fashioned 'gidday mate' beer?"