Football Banter Lovers Gifts

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in being the, 'official prophet of the NFL.'"

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

'Time out!... Scooper!!'

'Please cover for me Carol. I'll be away from my desk, roaming the cubicles, searching for sports talk.'

Plane crash on football pitch.

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

'The fish and chips are very nice.'

Football League - Concussions R Us.

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

American football has cheaters too.

"Nice shirt. Is it made of boyfriend material?"

"Daddy doesn't hate the Yankees. Daddy has issues with the Yankees."

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

'Oh, the poor dear - he's fallen down again!'

Footballer being substituted by an old man with a zimmer frame

Modern Stadium.

"We've made some adjustments for social distancing."

'Oh, OK then...I won't send you off.'