Premier League Banter Fan Gifts

'Oh, the poor dear - he's fallen down again!'

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

'A cheeky red?'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"It evened out, for every free kick they got, we had one against us."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Footballer holding team mates bum while preparing for a penalty shoot out

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

Martin O'Neill

"Who are you looking at? Want to kick off, do you?"

Gotta babysit. Too bad! Tap tap. The worst part is the first! Subduing little monsters? Tap tap. No

Martin Jol

"I don't care if you are a Leicester City fan - you can come down off that cloud right now!"

"Oh no! It's foot 'n' mouth season again."

Propriety

(Carl's Sports Bar) - 'Hockey Sucks!!' - Although Earl had made good on his dare, it would be weeks before he could eat solid food again.

Football - How's my Diving?

Avram Grant, Premier League Manager.

'Today is. . . Tuesday! We are going. . . on a picnic. . . I am. . . an idiot.'

'Out batted, out bowled, out fielded!'

"With the pretzels I recommend a hearty burgundy, with the goldfish a blanc de blancs."

Can you feel the electricity in the air?...

The new heated seats were proving to be just a little too hot for the fans!

"I try to keep my coffee buzz going till the Martini buzz kicks in."

The theraputic quality of the World Cup only comes to the fore with a good xenophobic thrashing of foreigners.

"I'm interested in the debt consolidation package your bank has been advertising...."

"Look, honey, they're erecting a statue of you in the park—oh, now they're taking it down."

Jose Mourinho Caricature.

Chris Hughton

You throw poop like a girl.