Food Preparation Ponderer Gifts

'How is the water prepared?'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"The doctor will see you now."

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

"Delivery."

'Dr. Fenton discovers a new killer cell.'

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Fruits and vegetables

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

'Must we do everything together?'

'She loves me just the way I am...when she loves me.'

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

"If I'm supposed to be going out with Steve...why do I really really like going to bed on my own with my cat Roger?"

'She treats me like every other pebble on the beach.'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

'If you had to give up either wine or women, which would you choose?'

"I feel bad about eating them...but they're so yummy."

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'