Pasta Ponderers Gifts

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

Late BroomStick

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

'How is the water prepared?'

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Einstein tests his pasta-antipasto theory.

Seriously, try leaving them out for a day. They're delicious al dente!

"Will you be passing a mailbox?"

"It started as an out-of body experience but I forgot the password to get back in."

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

Fruits and vegetables

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

'I do wish you wouldn't use those Polish printers.'

No Junk Mail

The indigo children.

Career choices for fleas.

Tuscan Fare Of The Moment

"My real name's Killer. Fluffy is just my pen name."

'I treat those who've had out-of-body-experiences -- not out-of-money-experiences!'

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''

"Pasta-nonymous Tuesdays & Thursdays. Unlimited breadsticks at 7."

The Dinner Builiding

"I vary her diet with a wide variety of pasta shapes."

'Your five years experience herding cats is very impressive.'

'What'll it be - one large risk or several small ones?'

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

"dzKyivcy5n2#ijwx9uc!"

"I want to go on a real vacation this year! Why do you have to be so cheap?"

'If she says I could have cooked this for half the price - the pasta goes over her head.'