Pest Ponderers Gifts

Career choices for fleas.

Big mouse little mouse.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

Late BroomStick

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

Bees v Wasps

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"This wasn’t a mouse, ma’am — it was a cartoonist."

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Never mind spring. What do you predict for the economy?

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

"Let's just agree to disagree." "I suggested that first!"

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'I've thought the same thing myself. He certainly doesn't look like any of us.'

"I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each. I told them to pipe down."

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

The indigo children.

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

How Human Nature Works: 'Ok...Now I'm worried.'

'Tell him we just want rid of the rabbits, we don't need a puppet show thank you very much.'

"Why cull us when we could be retrained?"

"I just think it's worth questioning -- are we mating for life because we want to, or because we've been socialized by all those nature documentaries?"

'I treat those who've had out-of-body-experiences -- not out-of-money-experiences!'

'What did it mean, 'til death do us part?''

'If moths like light so much why do you never see them during the day?'

Carniverous frog

'Do you ever wonder if what we're doing is annoying?'

'Your five years experience herding cats is very impressive.'

'Ohhh....I love your accent!'

"As far as roommates go he's fine, he just leaves deadly traps everywhere."

"If you never date a prediction it can't be proved wrong."

"There's a rumor - which I don't believe - that there are more people than rats in this city."