Pest Ponderer Gifts

'If they didn't want us around, how come they keep putting food out for us?"

'If the opposite sex insisted on devouring YOUR head and laying thousands of eggs in YOUR carcass, then perhaps celibacy wouldn't seem like such an unreasonable lifestyle option!'

What you might find on the dinner plate...

'If moths like light so much why do you never see them during the day?'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'We don't often get clients asking to view termite infested properties.'

The last thing they think

"I know how you feel, but it's what he would have wanted."

'Do you ever wonder if what we're doing is annoying?'

The earwigs were back. Ugly as sin, but excellent listeners.

"You go ahead and eat the rhododendrons if you want...I'm still full after those Nasturtiums!"

Bees v Wasps

Wildlife

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Yak, yak, yak.'

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

Frog to other frog: 'Hey, nice pad.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'Thanks, we really appreciate this. Yeah, the middle button. Don't worry, it's auto-focus - just aim and shoot.'

But there are other pleasures still for the fisherman's delight....for nature is everywhere about him.

"This blood knot ought to be re-named the blood, sweat and tears knot."

Business Duck

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"Of course you can't put your finger on it. It's a hypothetical particle."

"I can't wait to start growing limbs so that I can use a tablet..."

'My horoscope said I was going to make someone happy today.'

'Its that final touch that makes it seem just like a natural pond.'

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Six frogs leap off their lily pads.

...Well I've got to make sure I REALLY like where I am.

"Of course it's only prediction, we can't guarantee anything."

'Congratulations, you've got the job. Unfortunately though, you'll be constantly late, and we'll fire you in two months.'

'I'll say this for you young Thoreu - he certainly does make good use of his pond.'

'Ooops. Look at it this way: you won't have to worry about bee mites infesting your colonies now.'