Food Preparation Ponderer T-Shirts

'How is the water prepared?'

Down a the lab - Germs "So what will you do when you grow up?" "Oh the usual...divide,multiply,infect,kill.."

Fountain of Youth/Fountain of Bacon

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

"If He didn't want us to eat it, why'd He wrap the whole thing in bacon?"

It'll never work - you're LED and I'm plasma.

"It said on the packet the pasta should act as a vehicle for the sauce."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

'I love your poetry, m'dear - it's very Ezra Poundish.'

"They're going to print a retraction - your desserts are not inconsistent."

Heavy man wants the cake and Edith too.

"Tell your date you're a vegetarian before he orders that expensive gourmet dinner."

"The doctor will see you now."

If we reproduce fast enough, we'll outnumber everybody and take over the petri dish! Divide and conquer, eh?

"What do you have that justifies its calories?"

Six months later they would be sharing the Nobel Prize, but for now all they could do was stare in amazement at what they had discovered...two incredibly well preserved specimens from the styrofoam age.'

"Delivery."

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

Fruits and vegetables

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Why do you need a girlfriend? Because it's nice to hang out with someone. Why? Because you can do fun stuff. Why? Just because. Oh, why didn't you say so? I think I've had a breakthrough.

Hi, Rudy. What the -- ?! Don't rush me, Uncle Mort. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web. $12.50. What'd I say? You asked how last night's date went. You wanted to know If we hit it off … If we had a goodnight kiss … if there'll be a second date … If we went for long walks on the beach ... If we're getting serious ... if I've met her parents ... if I've thought of how to propose ... if she's said yes ... if we've moved in together ... if we've discussed giving you grand-nieces and nephews ... All I

Sensitivity Training For Bulls.

'Dr. Fenton discovers a new killer cell.'

"You know, lentils have twice as much protein per serving."

'Must we do everything together?'

'She treats me like every other pebble on the beach.'

'She loves me just the way I am...when she loves me.'

"If I'm supposed to be going out with Steve...why do I really really like going to bed on my own with my cat Roger?"

'Mom, it's doing it again'

"The I'm Going Off My Diet special comes with a side order of Guilt."

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

'All these heads are kind of gross aren't they? What if we collected pottery or something?'

Manna from heaven puts the olfactory talents of Israel's dogs to the test.'

"I feel bad about eating them...but they're so yummy."