Culinary Ponderer T-Shirts

"Hold on ... I think a table's about to open up."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Like death by salad.'

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

Try to guess the continent dining...

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

"I've never heard of it, either, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, I always say!"

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

Important Food Groups

French wine

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"I come here for the pepper."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Hi. What kind of wine goes with fruit salad?"

Our visit to the flan factory.

Sauce for the Goose

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"All of tonight's specials dance around the whole GMO thing."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Before/After

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'