Flood Forecaster Gifts

'Well yes, son. I imagine some marriages of convenience took place.'

"Forget the sky is falling!. . . The oceans are rising! The oceans are rising!"

"It's official"..."It's a drought!"

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Of course this'll be a great year. The data, sales projections, customer surveys, and my mom all think so."

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

European currency on the edge.

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'Ho,ho,ho, but can you be more specific?'

Indigenous knowledge vs. climate projections and weather forecasts.

'Call the boss! We're in trouble!'

Captain steering house through flood.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"If you ask me, that sky looks awfully threatening!"

'I can see a visit to the vet, but, oh my, no more kids after that!...'

"What's the final episode of 'Seinfeld' about?""It's about nothing."

'I used to work for the Treasury Department, but there's no future in economic forecasts.'

"We may have to rob from the rich AND the poor."

"With strong winds battering the country, the Met Office have issued an amber wig wearers warning."

Man dreaming of TV weather girl having clothes blown off.

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

TV - MARS, weather: 'Very hot and dry days, bitterly cold nights and no precipitation for the next several million years!'

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."

Sunny with a chance of Helium

Pessimists v Optimists.

"The margin of error is plus or minus one hundred percent."

'Look, dear, they offer cloud storage for optimistic economic projections...it's called Cloud 9.'

'Gee, where are all the crowds this year?'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Incorrect weather forecasts.