Floods Gifts

"It's deeper by train"

'Sorry, but being left high and dry isn't covered by your flood insurance.'

Indian rajah rowing elephant in a monsoon flood.

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

A Hole in the Dike

No, no, this is Terry's ark, Noah's is three arks down.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

"What do you mean, 'Climate change is not just humbug?'"

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Venice Floods

'Two pencils approach Noah's ark.'

Things always look worse at 3 'clock in the morning.

"Every once in a while this house comes with a pool."

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

'Well yes, son. I imagine some marriages of convenience took place.'

Yeah, ok. I'll hold onto the two termites until this is over.

Honey, wake up

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

'Do you suppose we might qualify for asylum in Holland?'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

'Look, thanks for your concern, but I think a flood is something we can cope with!'

Own a piece of history - floodwaters

'It's a very nice house, when the tide is out.'

Official in flooded office says: 'A decision on lifting the hosepipe ban will be made in due course.'

Noah's Ark

'Did I or did I not say, no woodworm?!'

'This place has been bailed out more often than Greece.'

'This is a fine time to think we should have bought a houseboat!'

We'll see who's laughing when this is all water.

Water on board

Water Department Flood

'My basement is flooded, so I figure, why stay home and stand in water when I can go fly fishing instead?'

"We've got water views again."