Flea-free Fanatic Gifts

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

'He exuded the confidence of an exec who had closed mega deals, and hadn't found a flea in a week.'

Oh yeh? Well at least he doesn't get fleas.

"Instead of taking a bath can I wear a flea collar?"

The Games Man: He spends many hours studying minute aquatic flies...which his trout very rarely eat.

"Fleas talk about their life aboard cats..."

'I've decided to put off college, and hitchhike around the cat.'

'Food fight!'

'Sir, you wanted an affectionate date capable of long term friendship...you said nothing about being allergic to fleas.'

'She broke up with me because I'm a stray and, thus, always have fleas!'

'Yup...you've got em' alright. And they brought their circus, too.'

"Is this Haiku poopery?"

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

"I've built this business up from scratch. . . "

"I didn't even know they could knit!"

'...Pack your bags. When we get indside, we're moving to the cat.'

"Sorry, nature calls, I'll be back in five minutes: Suzie, you're in charge..."

Fly Club Singer: 'Wherever I Lay My Eggs, That's My Home...'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

'Your dog or mine?'

'You don't want to show favouritism Bruce-it upsets the others.'

Now it's time for Dung or no Dung! With your host Stinkhole Edmunds!

"Dad, sit still! I'm trying to watch the flea-circus acts!"

'EEEEEEX-CREMENT!'

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

"Please, please, please Mum! The flea circus has arrived: can we go?!"

"No wonder it's itchy: You have a whole flea circus on your back!"

'I want a straightforward answer: Did you or did you not willfully claw a flea to death on your left ear?'

'That's the worst case of fleas I've ever seen...!'

"Congratulations! You're the proud father of 5 thousand squirming little maggots!"

Flea Market:'Won't be a minute...I'm just going for a top-up.'

Four fleas line up for a race on a dog: 'Hey, did you hear about Frank... he was scratched!'

'It's really getting crowded around here! I think we should move to a larger dog.'