Fishy Humor Enthusiast Gifts

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Got anything better than worms?'

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

'Another foreclosure.'

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

'Steroids.'

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

Prawn Shop

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

The evolution of synchronizes swimmers.

Fishing Holes

Chez Ernie. Freezer. You still can't call it "freshly caught," Ernie.

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

"Dang. . . everyehere you meet cargo ships jammed in front of the North Sea Ports!"

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

How evolution was inspired by children

Fisherman.

"It's a chatter bait."

"Oh, great... they say they all have headaches."

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

"Just the bait, please."

"Put that away. You know there's no texting in school."

"Offishial business, ma'am."

Take two of these with a glass of air.

Fish Eye Tests.

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."