Fish Humor Lover Gifts

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

Take two of these with a glass of air.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

'Steroids.'

Fishing Holes

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

"Don't worry, I quite enjoy a fishy breath: Now, open wide..."

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

Whale Whale Whale.

'Say on the papers!'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

Putting on ice

Fire Exit

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

Fish with Human Trophy

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

'And why is liquidity so important to you?'

'Pity more fisherman weren't like you, Larry - we'd never have to worry about endangered species.'

'Another foreclosure.'

'And that's the difference between internet and intranet.'

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

"You've got your scales on backward."

"Don't worry Josh, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Got anything better than worms?'

"I forget which one of us is the therapist."

"I'm voting for whoever promises to keep my house underwater."

'Any luck?'