Fish Humor Lover Pillows

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

Take two of these with a glass of air.

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

'Steroids.'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

Fishing Holes

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

"Don't worry, I quite enjoy a fishy breath: Now, open wide..."

Chez Ernie. Freezer. You still can't call it "freshly caught," Ernie.

How evolution was inspired by children

Whale Whale Whale.

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

'Say on the papers!'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

Fish with Human Trophy

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

Putting on ice

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

Fire Exit

'And why is liquidity so important to you?'

'Pity more fisherman weren't like you, Larry - we'd never have to worry about endangered species.'

'Another foreclosure.'

'And that's the difference between internet and intranet.'

'You can't expect fame and fortune from selling just your fillet of sole to the devil.'

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

"You've got your scales on backward."

"Don't worry Josh, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Got anything better than worms?'

"I'm voting for whoever promises to keep my house underwater."