Fish Humor Enthusiast Pillows

Fire Exit

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

'Steroids.'

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

Fishing Holes

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

"Don't worry, I quite enjoy a fishy breath: Now, open wide..."

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

"Put that away. You know there's no texting in school."

Take two of these with a glass of air.

"Offishial business, ma'am."

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

Fish with Human Trophy

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

I told you not to eat that Blowfish.

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

Putting on ice

'And why is liquidity so important to you?'

Fishing from a Fish

'Another foreclosure.'

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

Fish with human trophy on wall.