Fishy Humor Aficionado Pillows

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

'Steroids.'

Prawn Shop

"How long can you stay out here before your toes wrinkle?"

'That's the last time I send you shopping!'

"Fear of getting caught is understandable, but I think your fear of water requires pharmaceutical intervention."

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

Fishing Holes

'Yes we are observing the swordfish boycott, but we brought in special herring with nose jobs.'

"You son of a b***h! I know where thos ebubbles are coming from!"

Fish "Hey Kid, got a light?"

"Good. I was hoping for someone who could talk under water!"

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

Fisherman.

Take two of these with a glass of air.

'Listen, yes, I'm an hermit, but a simple Hermit-Crab: I do not answer philosophical questions!'

"Just the bait, please."

"It's a chatter bait."

"Put that away. You know there's no texting in school."

"Offishial business, ma'am."

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

The Submarine and the Fisherman

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

'...a little higher and to the right.'

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

Fire Exit

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

I told you not to eat that Blowfish.