Fish Humor Fan Gifts

'The problem with living in water is I can never tell when my contact lens is in!'

"You may be in love, but can you support my daughter on what a herring makes?"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

Fish Baptism is by full emersion

'What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?'

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

'Steroids.'

'My advice? Dump him! There are plenty more fish in the sea...'

Fishing Holes

Fish Workout

"Just ignore them. They're summer people."

'Well, sorry, but I can't see anything exciting happening anytime soon...'

"Don't worry, I quite enjoy a fishy breath: Now, open wide..."

Chez Ernie. Freezer. You still can't call it "freshly caught," Ernie.

"We've ruled out Islamophobia and Homophobia. Let's turn to food phobias. How do you feel about Tilapia?"

How evolution was inspired by children

'Like they say, 'give a man a fish, he can eat for a day. Give him a fish store, he can go bankrupt.'

Take two of these with a glass of air.

'Say on the papers!'

'Get lost, two's company, three's a shoal.'

Fire Exit

"Seriously, you have to stop getting up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water."

"I don't know, how long can you tread water?"

"And that's why there aren't any fish comedians."

Putting on ice

Fish with Human Trophy

'Gimme your wallet! I've got a salmon, and it's farmed'

'Pity more fisherman weren't like you, Larry - we'd never have to worry about endangered species.'

"My memory is awful, so stop me if I've told this one before."

'Another foreclosure.'

"Don't worry Josh, there's plenty more fish in the sea."

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Got anything better than worms?'

"I forget which one of us is the therapist."

"I'm voting for whoever promises to keep my house underwater."

Fishing Lake.