Financially Quirky Gifts

'Walter doesn't trust banks.'

"Sorry, stock-market jitters."

Dog Beginning For A Loan

'I'm balancing the books...you are out'

'Once upon a time, in a faraway land with a budget surplus...'

Jerry, times are tough. I'll take your iou for $75 only if it's written on a $100 bill.

"I'd like a job filled with adventure where there'd be a good chance of claiming compensation."

'One good thing about the salary - you won't be liable for income tax.'

Piggy bank queuing at the bank.

'How many pension fund managers does it take to change a lightbulb...?'

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

"Just once, I'd like to be able to write a check without getting thrown in jail."

'My dad showed me how to make awesome paper airplanes out of corporate bonds.'

Coudl I go to jail for something I didn't do? I didn't pay my income tax!

Heeeres Alistair (Darling).

'Do I need a pin number to make a withdrawal?'

'You've got to help me, Doc -- My Diner's Club card is maxed out!'

Man trying to grab a pension from a crane slot machine

Cash Machine pulls a face at a customer.

'My husband will be able to pay you, as soon as he covers the call options he sold in the pet food aisle.'

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

Investments: We have organic and gluten-free stocks.

'I'm Robin Hood. I take from the rich and I give to the poor, the I.R.S. and my two ex-wives.'

Next in business news we report on companies facing financial difficulties. Who's a good boy?! You are! Purr purr purr. You sound just like a motor boat. I will never understand human financial issues. The reporters were saying going belly up is a bad thing.

'Joey, I'm taking you out of tobacco company stocks, and putting you into medical marijuana futures.'

"Everyone said we're crazy to hike a snake charmer, but he's out top fund manager."

'So, you're a serious investor? Lighten up!'

"No, you can't pay in camels -but we do accept goldfish!"

'Attention everyone! I want you to meet Mr. Clyde Dofus, our new client. Clyde has a big bag of money he wants to invest with us.'

Stock Tips: $5 - 'What not to buy'

'Does my overdraft look big in this?'

Joker Financial Consultant

"This is Mr. Burke—he's a non-bank banker."

"I did warn you about the after effects."

'Of course I have my soft side. I carry photos of my loved ones in my wallet. This one is of my accountant.'