Film Festival Organizer Gifts

"Is it any good?"

"Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance."

Lon Chaney Festival. It's a shame Lon Chaney took the name of "Man of a Thousand Faces." It would have made a great slogan for a plastic surgeon!

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

Leslie Caron.

"Bloody hell!"

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

This side is the gag reel.

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

Now Playing at the Europlex

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"Hello. I'm director Bob ('Blue Fires') Munsey and this is screenwriter Doris ('Highway to Nowhere') Winslow."

Script/Director/Producer/Decency Panel.

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"It's touching, actually, to see white dudes fumble around for a few last moments in the spotlight."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

Movies through the decades.

King Kong

"So, how's your scary movie?"

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"Hold it a second. I want to watch this."

Outskirts of town with sign: 'Entering Centerville - a town without a film festival.'

'CHICK-FLICK' MALE LEAD CHARACTER ARC.

The Odd Couple.

"They say she's gone completely Sundance."

'Oh man, every time.'

"I did not ram Preston Sturges down their throats."

Animation Film Festival. Great, now I have a toon stuck in my head.

Daniel Day Lewis

Now showing, the Monster from Space.