Festival Organizer Gifts

Tenafly International Film Festival

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

Pill testing

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Face painting.

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'Man, times have changed.'

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

Occupational Hazards.

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Extra Long-jump

"Don Wood? I don't know any Don Wood!"

Wisely, many wedding planners are hiring refs to monitor the bouquet toss.

Please Do Not Throw Cups of Beer At The Players... It's A Waste of Beer.'

'...Just because you hired me doesn't mean I have to entertain.'

... And by the end of the first quarter of the game, the famous 'Man Cave' was completely deserted.

The Aisle

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"