Convention Organizer Gifts

You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

"You may now kiss the bride..."

Face painting.

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Face painting by numbers.

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'Hey, hey, hey!'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

Conference Pears

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'And in conclusion.'

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'

"The sound system is fixed so we can start. Would you kindly put the beach ball away!"

Extra Long-jump