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You think you're good, eh? Okay, you've got the lost and found windo at the Kleptomaniac's Convention.

Tree Huggers USA: Mexican Representative is somewhat prickled.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Face painting.

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Inclusive speech

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'Complete sentences?? Jeez, how verbose can you get?'

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

Buisnessman Of The Hour - I'd like to introduce our guest but he is 45 minutes late

Face painting by numbers.

Man at penthouse party walks out onto terrace and is startled to see the Earth, instead of the moon, shining in the sky.

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking...'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"Dare I ask for mustard?"

"We serve danishes because that's just how I roll!"

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Hey, hey, hey!'

Conference Pears

World Food Summit - No food and drink allowed in the auditorium.

"Tia Carmen, if you had a bucket list, what would you put in it?"

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

“Look! We’re on the naked cam!”

'And in conclusion.'

Who are the most important people at the World Cup?

'Yeah, you have lips like Mick Jagger ... ok, back to the teleconference.'