Film Festival Aficionado Gifts

"Tiffany tells me you were at Sundance."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

Face painting.

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Bloody hell!"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

Getting to Know You

Kritik's Korner

Canadian film production

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

Moby Dick

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Spoiler alert."

Now Playing at the Europlex

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

The Running of the Brie

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

'And I love the part when he finds out that it was his brother all along!'

Arnold's first day on the job - 'What do you mean...no director!!!...and who is going to tell me what to do?'

Movies vs. Films

Film Star Robert de Niro

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'