Film Festival Devotee Gifts

Kelvin and Hobbs (Roy).

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

Face painting.

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The secret to doing a book report is only picking books that have been made in to movies.'

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

'There's nothing on.'

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

Getting to Know You

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Film Festival. Events. Screenings. Ernie attends these festivals in costume. He's gone over to the dork side!

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

Pearly King and Queen

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

My phone is synced with my tablet, my tablet is synced with my laptop ... but none of them are synced with me."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Movie Awards. That movie always comes alone and never stays for the after-party. It's an independent film.

Now Playing at the Europlex

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

The Running of the Brie

"Spoiler alert."

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

Binge Watch

'Oh, look - a juggling stilt-walker painting that little child's face!'

"Oooh. . . I've got sand under my wrappings and it's so itchy. . !!"

The dark side of Halloween.

The Epsom Derby - Bookies

Quentin Tarantino

"Would the owner of the 1985 Ford station wagon, license plate METAL-1, please move your car so that the ice-cream truck can get through?"

Earth Mother

'What do you mean, 'pass the remote control'?... We're at the cinema!'

'No, when something blows up it doesn't buffer, that's just special effects.'

Man writing at laptop says: 'It's a UK road movie ??" to give it more scale, I'm making the characters three inches tall.'